phew!...that felt good :)

What is with this idea called "marriage"...n why do we need to have a wedding..is something that somehow never got into this small head of mine. So, these 2 people get together..they think they like each other and are daring enough to think that they want to spend most of the time with each other and, that this whole time together will not make them hate each other eventually. What is so great about this thought process that the respective parents have to start talking, and arrange for a wedding, discuss about how the so called wedding would go, where, what, how to, who etc etc...
In effect, I think that this is a completely useless way of passing time by parents..apparently,it involves few months preparation and a whole lot of "spending" and with it, lots of altercations,arguments, ego hassles etc that go with it...for what?..for a Charade or this drama if I may call it..to show off to the world that we have so much money and we can afford (even if we cant afford, we "borrow" money) such and such place, so much gold or other precious metal jewelery, fine silk clothes, a variety of cuisines, a hotel to make the guests stay, gifts for people whom we hardly speak to, etc...hey!..n not to forget the good lord above!...even he is showered with this expensive sort of "love & devotion" suddenly on this eve of a wedding!...phew!...and I am sure I am missing a lot more of this royal preparation in the above para..but anyway, you get the point right?...

And now comes my point of view..
Okay, so these 2 people have got together and also think they want to spend a lot of their left over time in this life with each other...SO WHAT!..What are you celebrating here? And why does this world need to see how much you can afford? Will they come to help you when you do not have the money?..NO! they wont!...they will come to you only when you have it!..If that is not enough, it is the elderly people who are most "kicked" about this whole wedding affair..!..They sit right there, ordering their kids to do so and so for the grand daughters & sons...My questions is, if you are so bloody enthusiastic about the wedding, be my guest and do it all over again...YOURSELF!...but just leave your grands alone!...PLEASE!..don't put us through this whole torture in the name of "we will be happy"..what the hell man!..haven't you been happier before this wedding? and what do YOU have to show to the world..If you want to have fun..go ahead and get married all over again!..don't put us through the ordeal damn it!..You have to understand that this is NOT your function..it is ours!..so let us just be!
And if you really think that your daughters & sons have so much money to show off to the world, then go arrange for a huge theater,get a tank of dirty filthy drain water.., show to the world you have soooooooooo much cash to drown in the drain!..and every person will applaud you! but KEEP OFF from other people's lives and let the protagonists of the function decide what they want to do and what not...just let them be happy and you find your happiness somewhere ELSE..after all it is THEIR day and not yours! Keep your stupid archaic ideas with you..your time is over...not let the youngsters live a it!..Do not poke your stupid head in their business for heaven's sake! Stop being materialistic and think about the Lord..it is about time you learn!

dont have a title...

I am very confused..as usual..
n this time it is not about some problems..i was only ruminating over certain things..it is so amazing that you get to meet a lot of people in the course of time..some you want to let go of immediately... some you want to keep for a little while and some for eternity. There are also times when this "eternity" category of people make promises and claims and with the wink of the eye vanish from the face of the earth.When you sit at home and get bored and you have nothing else to do in life, you tend to let your mind remenise over such people and instances in the past and wonder I could have done this differently..thi is where probable things went wrong..Good, I took that decision etc. etc... But somewhere every person you have encountered does leave a mark on you..Well, not EVERY person, I should say, the people you want to let mark your life...Okay, sometimes you have people u don't want to mark your life , also mar your life (What a complex sentence!..hope, it makes sense)..anyway, and then you resign to destiny and console yourself by saying "everything happens for good reason"...
There are people who pop in from your past and force you to go back to those days and remember details and want to know why and how and what happened with such and such individual... Now what is their problem in life i say..probably lack of gossip!..makes u feel sad..sad is not the right word I think..it is incomplete?..no..not really..life seems almost complete n boring to me now...jus make u feel empty and you feel like goin back to tht time in the past and changing it a lil bit..not regretting what you did also..but i really dont know how to say it... :(

A small prayer to all Indians to stand united and fight terror...

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to hold in esteem or honor: Respect

I have never understood this word "Respect". What does it mean? I have looked through the dictionary and I see that it interprets respect as : # A feeling of appreciative, often deferential regard; esteem. # The state of being regarded with honor or esteem.
# Willingness to show consideration or appreciation # To refrain from intruding upon or interfering with...
I understand being appreciative, and non interference. I do no understand Honor. Probably, I should try and find the meaning of Honor..got it..Honor: honesty, fairness, or integrity in one's beliefs and actions..yes I understand it now..

I understand what does it mean by saying that I respect this person and I don't respect that person. Do not take me wrong...dont misunderstand me by thinking that till date I have never understood the word respect or honor...I think they are the building blocks of ANY relationship.

But what I honestly do not understand is how can someone tell me "You should respect this person because I am respecting him". Now , this is something I cannot comprehend. What will make me respect a person honestly and truly would come from within myself and my mind, no one can force me to respect a person just because s/he is holding a high post ( I would respect the post and give the person the benefit of doubt by thinking that s/he has come here only cos they must have got something in them..but respecting the PERSON just because he holds the post doesn't cut ice with me) similarly, Do not expect me to respect a person only because s/he is old. I understand that the person has AGE and Experience behind him/her, but why should I respect that Age/Experience. What has this person done to achieve that Age or experience? Nothing! Everyone grows old and it is not an accomplishment by itself. Every person is subject to situations like it or not so, here again, it is not the individual who chose that "today I shall experience this and not this". Yeah, how the person comes out of the situation and what has the person learnt are more important to me. So, I would rather respect the learnings out of the lives than the mere age or experience factor.

From the learning, comes respect for the person. Well, in a few words... I need a Reason to respect a person...and a solid one at that.

Respecting someone's ideas is good with me, respecting someone's behavior is good too..but respecting someone who is authoritative and makes life miserable for everyone around...IS NOT. And even if you force me to do that, I would be merely acting and not truly feeling it. Even though that may satisfy the momentary need ( which is good with me), it will only increase my frustration levels and eventually turn into hatred.

I lost the enthu to write...

I was so full of frustration a few mins back..just had to get it out of me somehow and had decided that writing it all out would calm my nerves...but then, I saw a lizard, sweared at it..the frusty level reduced a lil..or rather increased cos I detest Lizards..then I switched on the comp..an old freind pinged after a looooooong time..felt nice :)..n then I spoke to genius n
Lo Behold!..
I forgot what I was disgusted about!!!..
so no more of writing blog..

Time...

hey..

I am sad and frustrated. Well, not exactly SAD but I am agitated that nothing is "happening" in my life. Now, how is that possible? I have an impending marriage, impending job, impending move to another country(hopefully)...so, why am I agitated? Because the above mentioned things are not happening NOW and not in the near future ( By near future, I mean 6 months) But, what I know is that once the ball starts rolling, I wont be able to stop it or even halt it for sometime..n then again there would be a lull in my life again...
I guess that is what life is...it is like a wheel...keeps going on n on and then u suddenly realise- "oh my God! I have covered such a long distance!!"

You know what, everything has a time!..believe it or not...it is so amazing when you actually think about the happenings in this way..every single minute has a timing!..it is like a play/ movie..things have to happen at a particular time and place and occasion- it is impeccable!..

I guess, I just need to patient and wait for the clock to strike and things will roll!! and roll they will in such a manner that there will be no stopping to it...Well, i guess that is why they say.. live every minute..savour every second ..cos it is not going to come back...
Who knows after a few weeks/ months, I would crave for the situation I am in now!..so let me not feel as if this moment in my life is worth less than the one I am awaiting...after all this is my life too...so it better be the best...n it is upto me for making it that..let me give this moment it's due respect and honour it by feeling that I am enjoying it and living it.

I am bored : (

Yes, it has been quite some time since I last posted a write up..n that is becuase..I have gotten busy with WORK!!..can you beat it?? ME..n busy with work?? Someone who used to hate work and not care two hoots about it is "busy"...!!!
Whats happening to the world?>?>

yes ladies and gentlemen..I am busy with work becuase I care about it and I am lovin' it!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!
Why am I loving it? because I think it will fetch me a better job the next time..and better aka something that I like!!!...and most of all I like it because it is new and I am getting to learn new things, new perspectives, new techniques, new terms, new ways to deal with new people etc...It is keeping me on the toes..that is why I am loving it. Luckily I have also been put in a small and hardworking team with people who are earnest and dow to earth with lotsa work exp...
So, do you now get the situation I am in? a kid with old and experienced people who is trying to prove herself but has been unable to so far because she is new to the work...I like this situation..I only scared that in some more time, the newness will wear off and I will not get any sympathies from my "old" team mates :(..n will not be a kid in their eyes anymore...I hope I learn soon enough...

Coming to the title.." I am bored"..after all this gyan about work...I am bored. I have nothing new to do during my weekends even though I crave for them like crazy!
What should I do?..now that is an interesting question..I should do something that I am interested in..which would lead me to the most difficult question>> "What are my hobbies"..oh GOD!..how is dread this question man!..
I don't have any hobbies!!..I do not know how my weekends pass..I do not know how to utilize my "free" time...!!!

I know why I dread telling people what I do...the genesis of this fear is CAT (GD and interview prep)..At that time we were told that whatever you tell the interviewer as you hobby, you should know everything about that hobby..(which I think makes sense) and I was so unsure about anything in the world, that I concluded I have no hobbies/interests..and hence, the question has become the most dreaded question ever! I do like to read sometimes, or watch movies or be online and most of all talk to my guy..but I really do not have nay in-depth knowledge in any of the above mentioned interest areas..
But what do I really do during the weekends is....hmm...hmmm..(im thinking)..well, I don't know!..time just flies!..Well, nowadays I have been looking for jobs, fighting with my mom, shopping, talking to bf, socialising online, spending time with my sis /bro, cleaning the house, washing clothes..yeah..tht pretty much covers what I do during the weekends..n of all the above, what all can be termed as "hobby"..NONE!!!..Concluding that I have no hobby!! n that is why I am bored!!!

This is ...ME..or is it??

Moods: WILD CAT!! ( now I like tht tag ;))

Fun: Thriller..( whoa!!)

Habits: High time Roller

Love: Touchy Feely (now dont u get it wrong ;))

For more deatils..please click on the link below..me too lazy to copy it for ya :P

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Embrace Imperfection

This is a stolen title...

I was reading a really good write up about "marriage". What it said in a crux is that life is full of imperfections and we need to learn and accept each other's faults and celebrate the differences and we have to stop making each other in our own mold.

Why the sudden interest in a topic that I used to dread?? It is so because I am soon to enter into the "next phase" of my life.

A very practical person that I am, I am not going into it thinking it will be a rosy, picturesque life.I am gathering all kinds of information, advice, experiences and then embracing what all the marriage has in store for me.

I honestly do not see any difference in the life I am leading right now and the one I might have to lead with my husband.( probably because one of my friends had told me so) But my mother tells me otherwise. She says "This is when you will start your life with HIM" and I wonder if I had not "started" my life with him 2 years ago when I had started seeing him first. My mother is right. She says marriage is not a confluence of 2 individuals but of 2 families. Now why does that thought scare me? Don't I want to expand my circle of loved ones? Why am I so narrow minded? Don't I want to love more people in this life? Don't I want to be loved by more people?
Then why the apprehension??? Probably because of "Miss negativity and Miss Judgemental" that have lived in this mind of mine. Now, it is not a written rule that this new family has to be torturous or brutal or irrational or conservative. After all this family has had products like the one whom I feel in love with! So what makes me scared of the whole "family" getting involved?..I cant find any reason now..meaning that my fears have no basis which means I am simply trying to complicate a very simple peaceful life - of me, my folks, my soon to be hubby etc..

Alright, so what if I am not the typical bride to be who is all excited about her wedding and life after that? What if I am concerned about my career more than the wedding itself? That gives me no right to spoil this special occasion for my near and dear ones...

As long as I am concerned, I think as long as I am getting the guy of my choice, I should sit back and relax and try and enjoy the function. It is like a give and take ...
Me: Families, since you have given the permission to let the two of us marry, I shall give you the wedding in return!

ha ha ha..sounds so funny..but it is true..I have to see thins as a give n take only then can it get into my head..

anyway..changing the controversial topic now..

"marriages are made in heaven..only yesterday my mom reminded me of this saying..and I was wondering what b******t!

Pondering over this, I found out that it may not be made in heaven but it is actually very magical when you come to think of how two different individuals form varied backgrounds come into contact with each other (as if it were destined!!) and then grow with each other and become so close that they can read each other's mind!!..There are no inhibitions or place for doubt between the two. They are like a jigsaw puzzle..Match each other as if they were moulded to be so.

But as someone rightly said, this is not easy just like everything successful in life. There has to be the mental make up for making your marriage last..that preparedness, that commitment and that level of understanding and love. And believe me there is no room for that Devil called EGO.

You can never have the best person as your spouse because no such person exists. But you can have a person with whom whom you match best. Matching wholly and completely is not fun. Both of you will get bored doing the same things, there will be no variety and spice. And that is why I said "celebrate differences". Participate with an open mind and be empathetic.

There are no magic potions for a happy marriage. It is like an individual having it's own separate ills and thrills. But there are definitely a few ground rules for it which may not guarantee the "happiest" marriage but definitely can guarantee a rock solid anchor for the boat of your life.

Beyond ordinary human understanding; esoteric

How intriguing is that!!..

"It is wise not to seek a secret; and honest, not to reveal one."

I am not wise and I am not honest by the above saying. But I am honest..honest enough to reveal all the secrets that need to be revealed..and there in lies my discretion and in turn I become powerful by withholding some information while revealing the other part..thereby arousing curiosity in the other person so that to know the other unrevealed part, he pleases me and I get all the importance in the world for those few minutes of my life...

I believe, that is how the human Psyche works!!..Importance (supposedly )leading to happiness is what keeps the human race thriving on this planet...Very interesting I must say..

So how to win people? Give them all the importance in the world!But then what about you? hmm...there lies the secret..if you give the other person importance, the others seek your company because you are making the other feel like a king!..And therefore, you become the seek ed! ( Is there any such word called "seek ed")..and voila! The table has turned! ..U in turn become important for that seeker!!!..
WOW!!..it is like I just figured way to the treasure!!

How dumb can I get not to have figured this one out earlier!!

It is not beyond human understanding..is it??

light

the last "tribute" was supposed to be a tribute to HIM but I really don't know why, I changed it to life..which made equal sense...

So "light" goes out to HIM.

Well, being so close to a human being one tends to overlook how this being deals/behaves with the others..others meaning people other than you. I really don't know if this happens to everyone, but in my case, I simply cant imagine Him with the others, at work, with family members, at a game , watching TV, with teachers, at a temple, at a public place...probably because I have not seen HIM for a long time..or probably cos I have hardly seen him do all this..or is it because I have seen him do it, must have not paid much heed to it and now that I miss HIM so much, I am wondering how it will be...

Also, it makes so much more sense when I hear little things about HIM from his friends and near and dear ones...Makes me realise that He means so much to many more people in the world..for me the "world" right now is only HIM, my folks and my very very close friends..So far it has not included HIS friends or HIS family...but things are soon to change...for the better( I have come to realise)..soon, HIS world will expand to include mine as well...
or knowing the person that he is , HIS world already includes my little world..

What actually I was getting at is that this person that I am writing about, has contributed (in good way) in a BIG way to not only his friends but also to so many others who have had no major interaction with him. His passion for things has touched many a lives.

I am sure everyone has an impact on other people's lives..but this is different..(not like Bollywood movies) but honestly, different! Different in a way that the interactions will not leave you feeling that something is missing..He will try his best to give you what all you are asking for ... and you can actually see this person taking all the pain, to give you what all he can..now how often do you see such honest to the heart, earnest people ...

Hardly!...

And this is just the beginning!!

A Tribute...

to what?...............................to life!!

Very surprising it is..coming from a pessimist like me...I never quite understood when people said "life is Beautiful"..I still don't..but I do understand that Life is magical, mysterious and a bundle of surprises- good and bad..

So why do I need to pay a tribute to Life?..I really don't know..probably one of my ways to thank Life...

"Hey My Life! Thank you so much for making the journey so far...interesting?not bad? good? what exactly should I say?..( the pessimist again)...Thank you for making the journey a pleasant one and a happy one and an enriching one...and also for pampering me so far...

talking about enriching..what exactly do I mean by it...according my my brain wave..enriching for me is a pleasant, happy, satisfying learning experience...

So what has life taught me?? I want to put this in writing so that I don't forget it " my life so far has been HAPPY"....yes..I said it..I am a happy person and my life has been happy. I have not yet faced any hardships ..WOW!!..wish I could carry this attitude forever..but I know this feeling is momentary...Well, then how can I make this feeling last long..long enough so that it ends with me in my death bed? The only way to do this is to keep reinforcing it in my mind and let my subconscious soak it and drink it and eventually live it...
better said than done!..

Wat amazing philosophy!!..I love listening t such things..I guess everyone does..after all..listening isn't the tough part!..it is the execution that tests people's strength..strength of the mind and will power...


Talking about will power..people tell me, I have tonnes of it in me...then why am I unable to use it when the time comes? why am I not able to control my mind? why am i so stuck up? I should have the power to command my mind..

I think I can..and I think I am going to do just that. It is an experiment I will take up in order to make others happy and to become more easy going in life...

I guess that is what it is..Life is like a journey..but where to? a materialistic goal to become an AVP ( I'm being realistic here ;)) in another year? or is the goal to achieve eternal peace and happiness ( how do u define that now?)..ok..so life is a journey to ... to.... to...hmmm...cant think anything ..which indicates an urgent need to set a goal!!

But how do I define a Goal? Can someone help me?

my first time...

Hi all!
This is my virgin attempt at blogging. I am all excited and charged up. Dont know if I will continue doing it or will lose all the enthusiasm I have in me right now.

Do not know if this will be appreciated, ignored and abandoned or will it stir a storm in the community? (community?..who is going to read my blog!)..anyway..Wondering if I will get famous or will I become one little drop in the big blogging ocean...

Anyway..enough about wat my blog might do or might not do...
Shall come to introducing myself.. (do ppl intro themselves? or is it just me? or it is that everyone gets to know the blogger through his/her blog?is it safe to introduce myself if I want to be anonymous?)

I feel like doing it, so lets do it. I am a city-bred mixture- a mixture of ideals, cultures, genes, ideas, languages.
Does that make me unique?I dont think so..everyone is a mixture isnt it? But then why do I consider myself unique? Probably because I am "self" centered...but I think every one is self centered !!So does everyone think he/she is special?

So what if I am special?How will that make me any important or popular? And even if I become popular or special, what makes me think that I will be any happier? Being special/ popular is not going to make my problems go away...will it? So what if I am appreciated by lot of people?Will that make me happy? Will it gaurentee no problems at all in my life? Or will it simply add on to my stock of issues/problems? I think my life will become more difficult..

Thank God!..You did not make me popular or famous or more unique than others ..

Anyway, I can confidently say that I possess some ideas that are not taken very well by my near and dear ones...call it weird, unrealistic. But I think that everyone has such unrealistic weird, un- contemporary ideas, it is just that they are unable to express it...so does that mean I have the "guts" to say it out loud? or I am uncaring selfish and egoistic? I really dont know...wish I knew it....